


It's Almost Like They're Free

by static_abyss



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Destiny, Drunkenness, Guns, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence, Recreational Drug Use, Reincarnation, War, two sides of the same coin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-26
Updated: 2012-06-26
Packaged: 2017-11-08 14:03:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/443955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/static_abyss/pseuds/static_abyss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The knights are time-traveling agents. Their job is to ensure The Once And Future King and his Warlock live long enough to fulfill their destiny every time they walk the Earth. A story of self-discovery and the realization that things don't always have to be the way everyone says they should be.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's Almost Like They're Free

**Author's Note:**

> I would like to thank everyone who commented on this over at KMM. A bunch of love to the OP who requested this. This has been my first real go at a Merlin long fic and I am happy with the result. I hope you all enjoy. Thanks also to sheswatching and claudine for enabling ♥ Much love to you two.

Morgause is the one who finds Lancelot, fresh out of high school and with every intention of marrying Gwen. He plans to work a year in one of the space centers before going back to Earth to become a surgeon. He'll work off all his debts, take off around the world with Gwen and eventually, they'll settle down and have children. There will be a house with the latest in holographic technology and a dog. Lancelot likes simple.

The space center was Gwen's idea because her friend Morgana works there and offered Gwen a job. Lancelot thinks any job is as good as another and so he finds himself filling out the application in one of the offices in lower London.

That is where Morgause finds him when she takes his half-filled application and asks him to follow her to her office. 

"Do you want to work for us?" 

Lancelot looks at her. The lines around her eyes are harsh, steel blue eyes adding to the effect. Her mouth is set in a frown, her brow furrowed in a way that seems to be natural to her. Her long blond hair curls over her shoulders, but even that is intimidating. This is a woman who never hears no.

"Yes," Lancelot answers.

"You won't like it," she tells him. "But I must have a leader and you're the most competent of the few who are born for time travel."

Lancelot is young; he doesn't ask questions.

Years later, he'll wish he had.

-

The ship is called Pendragon after the donor, Uther, who made it all possible, of course.

It takes five months for Lancelot to compile all the dates he needs for his job, to learn how to use the time traveling technology and to get to know the men who will work with him.

His team consists of three other men—Leon, Percival and Gwaine. They're with him now in the ten foot by ten foot office on the lower level of the ship that is their office. It's tiny compared to all the other departments, but then they won't be spending too much time there. The office walls are white with a monitor that spans the middle half of the wall in front of the door. There is a round table made of dark wood with four chairs around it. It's that table which gave them their name—the Knights of the Round Table, KRT for short. It had been Morgana's idea, probably her way of getting back at Gwaine after their breakup. Lancelot thinks it's just who Morgana is and because there is a soft spot in Uther's heart for her, the name stuck and that's what everyone in the ship knows them as.

Lancelot waits until their newest recruit—Percival, a boy from somewhere in Wales—takes a seat. Their first mission is today and Lancelot doesn't know if they can do it. Too many people count on them and the outcome of this first mission. They're just a bunch of kids.

There's Gwaine who is sprawled out on his chair, long wavy brown hair falling over his face as he leans his chair back on two legs. He glances up at the monitor behind Lancelot then goes back to staring at the ceiling. Percival is already reading, his eyes scanning the words he can make out from his chair, face serious as he scans the dates. He glances at Lancelot and they nod, quiet communication that they've picked up since their first practices together. Leon glances at the door, checks it's locked and then he looks back to Lancelot.

"Arthur and Merlin," Lancelot answers their unasked question. "Those are the dates when they are reborn, the addresses where they will be and their destiny."

"So, we do what exactly," Gwaine asks. "Make sure these two find each other every single time and have at it?"

"We have to be careful about it," Lancelot tells him. "We can't just walk up to them and tell them who we are or what we do. We have to go in looking like them, help them if they don't understand. We have to make sure they find each other and do what they're supposed to do."

"Why though?" and it makes sense that Percival is the first to ask because he's the tallest and strongest, but also the newest. 

"Because Merlin can work magic with a stick and Arthur is a king. Bloody politics for you," Gwaine says and he's grinning because he can. He doesn't understand how serious this is, not the way Lancelot does because Morgause made him their leader. What happens now is on him.

"Merlin does not have a stick," Leon says and he has to bite the inside of his mouth to keep from grinning. "He has magic that he's supposed to use to help Arthur fulfil his destiny. They work together. We need them both to make it work."

"But, what are they doing exactly?" Percival says, nods to the monitor. "Why a plane in Germany?"

"Because in the year 1939, Germany will declare war on the world and millions of people will die," Lancelot explains. "Because, if Arthur and Merlin don't fight in that war and take down the plane that's meant to get Hitler out of Germany more people will die. Because in 2030, a great big rock is going to hit the Earth and kill everyone on it and Merlin and Arthur have to stop it. Because, it's out duty to protect them and everything they stand for."

"Seems like a lot of responsibility for two blokes who need our help just to _find_ each other," Percival says.

That's just it, Lancelot thinks. It _is_ a lot for just two men which is why they're here. He's told Percival more than once. He's told all of them more than once. 

"We have to make sure they do what they have to in order for the world to continue the way it is."

They all say nothing as they stare at the monitor, the dates starting from left to right, top to bottom. There are so many of them, endless numbers and letters, destinies to be fulfilled. Some of them don't make sense, like in 1100 when Arthur must burn Merlin at the stake. It seems to hold no purpose, but they have a job to do.

"So," Gwaine says. "Where to first?"

-

They get black wrist bands that seem to melt away into their skin once they're on. There are numbers, holograms, things to help program the band with time, place, and even address if they have one. Lancelot reads the instructions out loud for everyone, because if he didn't no one would know how to use the damn things. It's simple really, complicated to understand, but easy to use like all technology now. All they have to do is input the date, the time and the coordinates of the place they want to go and they'll be transported there. Clothes taken care of with the camouflage application on the wristband.

They end up on Camelot first, right in the middle of a war, magic crackling in the air, but it isn't the war with Mordred yet. Gwaine wastes no time even as Percival rolls his eyes at him. He jumps into the fight, chainmail glinting in the sunlight, sword out and hacking at anyone who comes at him. He's good, almost too good right away and he's grinning back at Leon and Lancelot because Percival is too busy ignoring him.

"How do we know whose side we're on?" Leon asks, but he's pulling out his sword too, back to back with Lancelot.

"We're wearing red. They're wearing blue. We fight them." Gwaine says and then he takes off running.

Percival groans. "Why the fuck did I get paired up with him?"

"You don’t have to stay with him," Lancelot tells him.

And then, because Lancelot is too nice for his own good, he ends up with Gwaine, fighting off five men between the two of them. 

The battle ends when Nimueh's head rolls off her shoulders. Her people surrender and the knights wait together as the king strides over from where he was fighting a group of men. He's everything they expected, shorter than Leon and Percival, but he wears his chainmail well across his broad shoulders, strides over with the confidence of a king, his sword bloodied by his side, the ancient words gleaming in the sun. The man who walks next to him is slightly taller, hair as dark as the king's is gold. They both have blue eyes, the warlock's deep blue and the king's lighter, like the sky when there are no clouds in it.

"They look good together," Gwaine says and then hisses in pain when Percival shoves his foot against the back of Gwaine's calf.

"I do not want to harm you," the king says. "Surrender and there will be a place for you in my lands. Fight and you will be punished. You have seen that my advisor is far stronger than Nimueh was even though she has been in this land for decades. I can cause you pain, but I do not want to do it if there is no need."

All of the men do, lay down their swords and bow to Arthur. It's Merlin who notices the knights, standing to the side, hair plastered to their foreheads, Gwaine's face scratched from cheekbone to jaw. They watch as Merlin leans over to whisper into Arthur's ear, the hand familiar on Arthur's shoulder. Arthur nods, turns to Gwaine, Lancelot, Percival and Leon.

"Who are you?" the king asks.

"We are the knights of the round table," Lancelot says, stepping forward and bowing before the king. "We fight to protect the king of Camelot."

"Stand," the king commands.

They all do, the four knights and wait as the king turns to his warlock and whispers in his ear. No one misses the way the king's hand lingers on the warlock's arm, the way the warlock leans into the touch.

"I am King Arthur," the king says. "I rule Camelot and protect the lands on its borders. This is my advisor, Merlin. Tell me, knights, what do you think of magic?"

"We believe that those who are born with it are lucky," Leon says. "We believe that, when it can, magic must be used for good, sire. But, we also believe that when it isn't, those who seek to harm others must be punished for their crimes."

"What if someone used magic to kill for the good of a kingdom?" the king presses on. "What do we do then to the warlock who used the magic under order of his king?"

Leon hesitates, eyes flickering between Arthur and Merlin. He glances over at Lancelot who nods. They've rehearsed this, every single one of them just in case Arthur chose to ask them. All in all, it's better that it is Leon who has to answer and not Percival who's too new.

"We serve the king of Camelot, sire and we must believe that our king does what he does for the good of his people. Any king worth being king should do what he has to do to help his people, no matter what it costs. As for the warlock who does what his king asks, he can no more be faulted than knights who slay on the orders of their king."

Arthur exchanges looks with Merlin. "And you all agree?" 

The knights nod, Gwaine with a knowing look and a smirk plastered on his face as he raises an eyebrow at Merlin. The warlock turns away, a small smile on his face and the king notices it. Lancelot is quick to step forward, his fingers a warning on Gwaine's shoulder. 

They can't interfere.

-

The king is not what they expected. Behind the castle walls, Arthur is eager to please, excited when it comes to practice. He swears Gwaine and Leon knights at once, asks Percival and Lancelot a few questions before he swears them in as well. When they practice, Arthur talks to them, asks questions about their lives, practices with everything he has, but is quick to help, to point out weaknesses in their stances, the way the knights hold their swords. Gwaine is the only one who doesn't get a lesson, the only who ever beats Arthur. 

They get along with Merlin all too well, tease him and it's too easy to like the two men they are sworn to protect. Lancelot reminds them every day of their duty, but then he is the first to jump in front of a band of thieves on the road to protect the king. Arthur declares him the noblest of all his knights, pure of heart and gives him enough land to house a wife, children and servants four times over. None of the others complain, even though Gwaine laughs at Lancelot over it once they're alone.

They know what that land represents, the open field with the two interlocking trees. It’s the field where the final battle will take place, where Mordred will run his sword through Arthur and kill him. The days go by and they know, the four of them, the exact date and time when it's supposed to happen. They say nothing, not even when the battle does start and Arthur leads his men to battle, Merlin riding by his side; the queen at home with her son.

They take care to protect the king. Gwaine and Lancelot are constantly by his side with set faces, knocking down enemy after enemy. Arthur can't die by the hands of just anyone. It has to be Mordred. Percival and Leon are with Merlin, keeping an eye on him because he is to kill Morgana. But, when it comes time—when Arthur is falling and Mordred is standing above him and Merlin is too far away to help—Lancelot moves and it's only Leon's grip on his arm that stops him.

Mordred's sword cuts through Arthur's chainmail with a flash of gold from Mordred's eyes. Arthur's mouth drops open, surprise and terror flashing briefly before he schools his face into an emotionless mask. Leon and Lancelot move then, aim to overpower Mordred, but he's faster, eyes flashing gold and then he's gone. The battle is done for the day with Mordred's retreat and Merlin's there in a second, kneeling besides Arthur and pulling the king's head onto his lap.

"I'm here," Merlin says, his shaking hands belying his soothing tone. "Right here with you, Arthur. You're going to be fine."

Gwaine and Percival come back, both sweating and dirty, covered in blood. Lancelot and Leon don't look any better, but no one is paying attention to them. The four of them stand around Merlin and Arthur, swords pointed downwards watching as their king dies in the hands of his warlock. Merlin stays all the while, rocks Arthur's head back and forth and the words he whispers to Arthur are too private for any of them to hear, but they don't leave. Arthur is to die today and they stay to watch it.

He goes as the sun is setting behind the mountains in the distance. His last words are so soft that only Merlin hears them, but the four knights know what they are because Merlin is shaking, lips pressed against Arthur's for a second before he speaks.

"Me too," Merlin says.

It's over then, but as the four of them stand together there is no sense of fulfilment, nothing good about watching this destiny filled. Lancelot is the first to turn away from Merlin who won't let go of Arthur. The other knights turn too, job done and they have to go to the next one. Gwaine hesitates for just a second, but then he turns too, follows Lancelot because he knows that if he's feeling shit about this then Lancelot must be.

"Where are you going," Merlin calls.

Leon is the one who answers him. "We're going after Mordred," he lies.

There's a flare of anger across Merlin's eyes and then he's trying to get up, careful about how he moves Arthur. "I'll come with you," he says.

Gwaine stops. "No," he says. "You stay here. With him. Bury him. We'll get Mordred."

"Mordred will kill you."

"It would be an honour to die for our king," Lancelot says and everyone but Merlin hears the anger behind his words.

-

No one speaks about the first mission. 

-

For their second mission they end up in Medieval Europe and it's easier there. Their uniforms marking them as soldiers of the Catholic faith keep them safe for the most part. The people kiss their hands, offer them food and ask them to pray for their safety. There isn't much fighting when they walk into villages and most of the people they meet are glad to tell them anything they want to hear in exchange for safety. Even Gwaine can't make a joke about the situation, the fear apparent in the air, the light that is missing from the eyes of children. They pass a town where children are being rounded up by soldiers. 

"Because God would never abandon the children," a woman tells them and they can hear the anger in her voice too, the frustration at her ability to do nothing.

Merlin is the leader of the Cathars and the four of them have to fight through a small army that is bent on defending him at all costs. Many die and at the end of it even Merlin won't look at them, his eyes on the floor when Gwaine ties Merlin's hands behind his back.

"Who are you," Merlin asks when they sit him on Lancelot's horse.

"Friends of Arthur Pendragon," Leon answers getting on his own horse and watching as Lancelot makes Merlin as comfortable as possible.

They can all see the disbelief in Merlin's deep blue eyes, the mistrust when Lancelot moves his black curls out of his face.

"We're not animals," Lancelot bites out. "We didn't want to hurt your friends."

"But you did," Merlin whispers.

There's nothing anyone can say to that.

When they get to Arthur's manor house all it takes is Merlin's face for the guards to let them in. The five of them are escorted into an open room with an altar in the front. Leon bows his head in acknowledgement, but none of the others can bring themselves to do it, not when they've seen the children.

"Do you believe that God would want this?" Merlin asks. "That he would agree to shipping innocent children off to a war that isn't theirs to fight? Do you really think I am wrong when I say that the priest and bishops have tainted our true religion? How much money do you have to give to the church every harvest? How many of your children have starved?"

"Silence."

Arthur isn't king this time, but he still walks with that authority, with an air a man who is used to getting what he wants. He's dressed in fine clothes, blond hair combed away from his face. He's no older than Merlin is—barely thirty both of them—but there are lines around his eyes that come from frowning for too long. When he catches sight of Merlin his eyes widen, go scared then longing. Merlin won't stop staring at Arthur, their eyes locked together, fear, anger, sadness and longing, all rolled into one expression.

"Where did you find him," Arthur asks them, but he won't look away from Merlin.

"In a village outside of this one," Leon answers. 

" _In a village outside of this one_?" and the disbelief and exasperation behind Arthur's words is apparent to all of them and it's dangerous, but it's okay for now because Lancelot, Percival, Leon and Gwaine won't tell.

"You will be rewarded, of course," Arthur tells them.

"No," Lancelot answers too quickly. He falters for a second at Arthur's suspicious look. "We simply want to work," he amends. "We seek to serve your house, my lord."

Arthur nods curtly and motions at Merlin, his eyes giving away how much it pains him to see Merlin bound and on his knees. "Pick him up and bring him to my room. I want to speak to him before he burns."

"Are you sure, my lord?" Leon asks. "He has magic. He's a heretic. He has to burn."

It's clinical, pointed, matter of fact. But, Leon can't bring himself to look at Merlin or at anyone else.

"I know," Arthur answer, soft so that they almost miss it. "I have to interrogate him first."

"You may stay for today," Arthur says as Gwaine and Lancelot help Merlin up. "If you do your jobs well, you may stay."

Merlin catches Arthur's eyes and it's there again, a sort of electricity between them, as if they're touching each other even from a distance.

"My room," Arthur repeats and it's a promise, an order and a plea all at once.

They stand guard outside of Arthur's room, blank faces staring at the walls, anywhere but at each other. They can hear Merlin and Arthur talking inside, the walls too thin to provide any privacy.

"You have magic," Arthur accuses and there is hurt and desperation lacing his words.

"Yes," Merlin answers.

"Then free yourself. Fight," Arthur pleads. "Get away and hide. Kill whatever men you need to kill to make it believable, but run."

The knights don't move even though Lancelot turns away, his face impassive. Gwaine can tell Lancelot isn't happy, hasn't been happy since they left Camelot, but he also knows that Lancelot won't do anything to stop whatever has to happen here. They can't do anything even though they know Merlin and Arthur, knew the last Merlin and Arthur. They laughed together, drank together, kept secret the number of times Merlin snuck into Arthur's bedchambers only to come out hours later with his hair a mess on top of his head, lips red and swollen.

"I have seen to many people die to harm anymore," Merlin answers and this time the knights can hear the pain behind his words.

"Merlin," Arthur says and it's defeated and longing.

Lancelot sends away the guards that come to relieve them and he says nothing when Leon and Percival walk away out of respect. 

"Why," Gwaine asks out of curiosity, but also because he wants to drown the noises coming from Arthur's room, the hushed pleas from Merlin.

"There has to be someone to watch them, to protect them, someone to witness because they are people," Lancelot answers and he's angry again. "They're like you and I and they love each other. They loved each other in Camelot and they love each other here. Arthur sent Merlin away to protect him and we brought him back to die."

Gwaine comes over, puts a hand on Lancelot's shoulder and together they slide down to sit on the floor, backs against the wall behind them. 

"I keep thinking of Gwen," Lancelot says after a while. "About what I'd feel if I'd sent Gwen away to protect her and had someone else bring her back just because I had a destiny to fulfil."

"I'd want to kill the people who brought her back," Gwaine says, pauses, then, "Fuck, there goes our friendship with Arthur."

Lancelot's laugh is bitter, but it's a laugh all the same.

-

Merlin burns the next day. He doesn't confess to his sins, just stares at Arthur. It's as if he can will the pain away if he stares long and hard enough. Arthur never looks away, not even when the fire goes out. Lancelot and Gwaine never look away either. Leon and Percival never even make it to the burning.

Afterwards they don’t wait. Don't say goodbye to Arthur, don’t even wait for the ashes to cool. They go and leave a broken man behind them.

-

Percival sits out their third mission.

-

Gwaine messes up on their third mission. 

 

It's the first time they have to split up because the First World War is coming and Merlin is at school in Scotland, but Arthur's in London. Leon goes to find Arthur, enrols in the army with him and Lancelot—who calls himself Lance now—goes with Gwaine to find Merlin. 

Gwaine messes up because he falls in love with Merlin. 

It's easy with the way Merlin has of looking up at them through his eyelashes, eyes deep blue and dimples pronounced when he smiles. It's easy because Merlin talks about the world as if he can feel it underneath his feet, as if he can touch every single corner of it and Lance knows Gwaine is just the kind of man who falls for what he can't understand. It's easy because they know Merlin.

"We can't send him to London," Gwaine says one day from the top bunk in the room he and Lance share at school.

"We have to," Lance answers. "We have a job to do. Merlin and Arthur have a destiny."

"Fuck destiny," Gwaine says, angry. "He's going to _die_ , Lance. Not in this war, but in the next one. And for what? So that the people here can go on living, hating each other, killing each other? There's going to be another war sometime in the future and we’re going to have to throw them at each other again and they'll die. Again and again."

"I know," Lance answers.

"I don't like it."

"We're not supposed to interfere."

"Fuck that," Gwaine snaps. "You know as well as I do that you're dying to do something. You know it's not fair."

Lance says nothing for the longest time. He can't because he can't say what he wants to and everything that he _can_ say would be a lie. 

"Do you want to go back?"

Gwaine sighs. "I want him to live a life."

"I know."

-

When the army representatives come to the school, Lance and Gwaine know they have to sign up.

"Why exactly?" Merlin asks them when Gwaine drags him to the line of boys waiting to enlist.

"Because Lance says it's our duty to protect our country, that's why. Anyway, bet it'll be easy to get some skirt out there, you know, as army men and all."

Merlin laughs and Lance can see the how much it costs Gwaine to say nothing.

"You're signing up, aren't you, Merlin?" Lance asks.

Merlin sighs, turns his blue eyes on him and shrugs. "I might as well, right? We're supposed to have better technology. Can't be too dangerous now can it, rolling around in the mud and shooting at people?"

Gwaine tenses visibly. Merlin is joking, but there's an edge to it, as though he can already sense what's coming. Lance doesn't say anything, because he and Gwaine know what it's like to kill, to watch people they know die before them. But, Merlin doesn’t know. This Merlin can't remember the time Arthur died in his arms or the time he burned, his eyes locked with the man he loved, the same man who put him there.

"No," Gwaine says. "War is easy."

It isn't easy, not just the war, but signing up for it, watching as Merlin writes down his name, knowing that he's a dead man already. They're sent off to London for training where Leon and Arthur are training. It's not a coincidence; Leon is the one doing the assigning.

"So, you're the mates Leon was telling me about," Arthur says when they've all been introduced.

"Yeah," Leon nods. "That's Lance and Gwaine. Him, I don’t know."

"I'm Merlin," Merlin says, shakes hands with Leon and then turns to Arthur.

They stare at each other a beat too long, hold hands just one second over what can be considered part of a first meeting. Lance nudges Gwaine with his boot.

"All right then," Gwaine says, his voice too cheery. "When do I start shooting?"

"You don't," Arthur says, the authority in his voice there already. "You have to train first."

The muscle on the side of Gwaine's jaw twitches, but he nods, salutes and walks off. Lance shoots Leon a look and then excuses himself, leaves Merlin with Arthur.

Their training starts the next day. For two weeks they have to crawl under wire on their stomachs, the mud seeping through their clothes so that by the end of the day, they're all cold and exhausted. Merlin and Arthur get along too well for Gwaine's liking. Lance sees them go off on walks together and watches the way they look at each other when they think no one is looking. He can pinpoint almost to the hour when one of them makes the first move. They're quieter after that, more discreet with their looks, but Lance can tell. He knows Gwaine could tell too, if he wanted to see. 

-

"You two are my friends, right?" Merlin whispers on the night before Leon and Arthur are meant to leave for Germany.

Gwaine and Lance both make noises of agreement. Merlin doesn’t say anything for the longest time and Lance stares up at the dark ceiling.

"I think," Merlin starts, voice so low Lance and Gwaine are the only two who can hear it. "That is, I know, I have magic."

Merlin stops talking, waits.

"That's a relief," Gwaine laughs. "We thought for a second you were going to tell us you fancied Pendragon."

The silence drags on longer this time and Lance can almost hear Gwaine berating himself. He wants to reach over and tell Gwaine that it's okay, it gets better, but he doesn't, just waits for Merlin to go on.

"What if I did," Merlin whispers.

"Oh," Gwaine answers. "That's all right then."

"There's nothing wrong with that," Lance adds. "But, you know we're different than many people out there, right? Can't trust too many with that."

Merlin hums his agreement and they say nothing for the rest of the night.

-

Arthur and Leon are meant to leave right after Merlin and Gwaine should finish cleaning the barracks. Merlin is nervous all morning, doesn’t eat breakfast and can't sit still as the time gets closer. Arthur has nothing to do all morning and if Merlin skips out on cleaning, that's two hours all to themselves. 

"Go," Gwaine says, because he can do the math as well as Lance can. "I'll cover for you."

Merlin's smile is wide, eyes sparkling as he grins at Gwaine. "Thanks," he breathes.

Gwaine nods and Merlin turns, runs, trips and keeps going. Lance puts a hand on Gwaine's shoulder and they watch Merlin run away from them, run to Arthur.

"I hate this job," Gwaine says.

Lancelot says nothing, but he agrees.

-

"Fucking hell," Gwaine yells over the noise of the bombs above them. "Have I mentioned how much I hate this fucking war yet?"

Arthur laughs and it's a relief for all of them because Arthur is their Colonel and his laugh means the rest of the men in the trenches can laugh. Leon and Lance are on Gwaine's other side, heads down as they peer over the trenches. No Man's Land stretches before them, the dust from the shells fired by the enemy settling down. They can make out men peering over at them from a few metres away and it hits Lance that it’s pointless for so many to die for a piece of land that would take him less than a minute to walk across.

"I don't like this way very much either," he tells Gwaine.

They laugh again, all except for Merlin who's peering over the trenches, pressed against Arthur. Lance jumps down as Arthur shouts the command and they get ready to retaliate. He runs over to Merlin's other side and lifts his gun over the edge of the trench, aims and waits.

"You can't save them all, you know," Lance whispers. "This is a war."

Merlin says nothing, fires when Arthur shouts the command. Merlin is good, magic makes him precise and he hits his targets ten out of ten times. But, it's not the Merlin Lance knows and it's not the Merlin he was back at school when he laughed at Gwaine's jokes

"Cease fire," Arthur shouts over the noise.

"I know," Merlin whispers as they all head back to the bomb shelter. "I just wish I could."

-

Merlin isn't quiet that night, moans escaping from low in this throat as Arthur fucks him. Lance is awake, eyes open as he looks in Gwaine's direction. He reaches out a hand, touches his fingers to Gwaine's and they shift closer to each other, finding comfort in the warmth of their bodies. No one else is awake and if they are, they won't say anything because there is a war going on above them and men understand what it's like to crave comfort. They know that Arthur and Merlin are lucky to have each other. No one will say a word, even if they know because they respect Arthur; the entire company would die to protect him.

The sound of skin against skin and Merlin's pants cut through the air around them. Gwaine shifts closer until his head is resting on Lance's shoulder, his ear pressed to Lance's arm. They freeze for a second, waiting to make sure Arthur and Merlin didn't hear them then, Lance lifts his other hand, tangles his fingers in Gwaine's hair and presses his palm against Gwaine's ear. He doesn't sleep until Gwaine does.

-

Percival is the only one who isn't ready for the second war.

 

Gwaine teaches him everything he can, talks to him, prepares him and Lance knows he does it because it keeps him from thinking too hard about what Merlin and Arthur are doing off at home together. Leon goes off for a week to the Pendragon's home, meets Morgana (Arthur's sister) and spends another week there. Lance tries not to think about what it means that they're here for so long, that they can go visit Arthur and Merlin and that it feels okay, nice, _normal_.

-

Lance is the one who makes the second mistake. 

 

Arthur is flying the plane and Merlin and the rest of them are in the back, receiving communications or manning the guns. The plan is to wait until they know for sure that Arthur and Merlin are going to stop the plane that will get Hitler out of Germany. They're supposed to wait until then and leave once the plane starts falling. What they all forget is that Lance doesn’t want this any more than Percival wanted to watch Merlin burn in Medieval Europe or any more than Gwaine wants to watch Merlin die today or Leon wants to leave Morgana.

He can't do it.

"Merlin," Lance whispers.

They have to be quiet because Arthur and Leon are flying the plane and Lance doesn’t want the others to know. He's their commander, the one to set the example. Merlin turns to him, a smile that says he's afraid, but that he's glad that Lance is there. 

"The plane's going to crash," Lance whispers because if he's going to set an example it's going to be one that he agrees with. "You have to stop it, change the direction. Whatever you have to do, Merlin, do it."

Merlin just looks at him, but there's no time. "Please," Lance tells him. "You have to believe me. I know it makes no sense, but nothing ever makes sense, Merlin. You have _magic_."

"Okay," Merlin nods, licks his lips and looks around. "Okay, what do I have to do?"

'There's a plane," Lance tells him. "If we catch up to it, this one falls. So, just, we have to turn around."

"What's on that plane," Merlin asks.

Lancelot says nothing.

"Lance."

"Merlin, I—"

"You have to tell him," Gwaine says behind Lance. "He needs to know."

"What's on that plane?"

Lance looks at Leon by the cockpit, next to Arthur who's shouting out orders into his radio. Leon and Arthur have shared holidays together. He and Gwaine have lived with Merlin. They fought together in trenches, told jokes afterward while they waited out the attacks in the bomb shelter. They've eaten Hunith's food.

"It's the plane that's meant to get Hitler out of Germany," Lance says finally. "This is the plane that's meant to take it down."

"If you knew that," Merlin asks. "Why did you get on?"

"We have a way to get off," Gwaine answers and he's never sounded so bitter before. "It's a one person get out of jail free card."

Merlin looks over at Arthur. "Then go," he says. 

Lance looks at him and it's all there in Merlin's eyes, the terror because Merlin knows he's going to die, the determination because he won't go without trying his hardest to save himself and Arthur. Gwaine puts a hand on Lance's shoulder, digs his fingers in and Lance knows that there's nothing he can do. He can't get Merlin out of the plane. He might be able to make Arthur turn it around, tell him that Merlin will die because if there's one person Arthur will break every rule for, it's Merlin. But Lance knows that Merlin won't let him, won't tell Arthur anything because he's stronger than any man Lance has ever met.

"Merlin, I—"

Merlin's smile is sad. "It's all right," he says. "Just, maybe next time you could give me a little warning before hand, yeah?"

It's meant to be funny.

"Yeah," Lance says. "I will. I promise."

Merlin frowns, but then he catches Percival watching him. "What about Percy and Leon?"

"They're with us," Gwaine grimaces, his hands at his side balled into fists. "Merlin, I just want you to know that I—"

"I know," Merlin interrupts. "Just go."

"We can stay, until almost the very end." Gwaine presses. "You don't have to be alone."

Merlin shakes his head, looks over at Arthur, the fondness in his eyes always there, brighter now. "I won't be alone," he answers. 

It's not hard to convince the rest of them to go and Merlin takes care of Arthur. The last thing they see before they go is Merlin leaning to whisper into Arthur's ear, his hand on Arthur's shoulder, fingers soothing. Arthur looks away long enough from what he's doing to run his nose up the side of Merlin's cheek.

-

Morgana thinks they're all dead.

They can't go to the funeral. 

-

"We can't do that again," Gwaine says when they get back to their room on the ship in the middle of space. 

It's all pointless then, all the talks they've discussed in the same room and the space they take up in the middle of the universe. Lance doesn't know what to tell them. He's just as tired as they are. The newspapers from 1946 list Merlin Emrys and Arthur Pendragon on the long list of men who died in the service of the government. Leon, Percy, Lance and Gwaine are listed as casualties as well. There's a small section further in the paper about Uther Pendragon selling his business and moving with his daughter, Morgana, to a quieter place in the country. But it's all record, history of what they've done, another destiny fulfilled.

"I know," Lance says finally. "But, we have to."

Leon puts a hand on Gwaine's shoulder before he can get up. Percival just watches Lance, because out of them all, he's the one who's most observant. There is no other job for them because time travellers are born, not made, can't be trained. Some people are born who can resist time travel and some are not. It's important that they do this because Arthur and Merlin have destinies together that will keep everyone safe. Lance understands that, but he also understands that they don't have to lie. He understands that Merlin went ahead and saved them all, knowing well that he might not make it.

"We don't have to lie," Lance tells them all.

He can see that it hadn't occurred to the men in the room. That they could do this another way, tell Merlin the truth, tell Arthur. 

"We," Leon starts, stops.

"What?" Gwaine asks and he doesn't sound angry anymore.

"'If we gave them their memories back," Leon says, voice hesitant. "If they knew what happened before, how they saved the world."

"It might help them believe us," Percival adds. "Then, they might actually listen before they chuck us off to some mental asylum."

"Or it might make them hate us," Gwaine points out. "I would hate us."

"We've been right pricks, haven't we?" Percival nods.

"We don't have the technology to make them remember their past lives yet," Lance says.

"You think we would," Gwaine complains, but he's leaning back into his seat, legs out in front of him and crossed at the ankles. "Isn't that what Gwen's department does? Find ways to make our jobs easier?"

"There are still some tests to go through before we can do that without hurting Merlin or Arthur," Lance tells them.

He watches the conversations around the room and he doesn't understand what it is about it all that makes him uncomfortable. Gwaine is leaning over his chair into Percival's space, whispering at Leon about how they're going to the twenty first century this time. It hits Lance what's wrong when Leon looks up at him.

They're taking it too lightly. They've watched Merlin and Arthur die more than once. They didn't speak about it the first time, hid it away because it hurt, it mattered and it shouldn't have. But, they knew that, knew that they were filing it away because they were invested, because it could harm them in the future projects. The second time Percival couldn't look at the them for weeks and the rest of them were uneasy. It was their third time watching two men they've known through the ages die. But the men in front of Lance are talking as if it's nothing because they are going to see Merlin and Arthur soon and it'll be in the twenty first century.

It's knowing that the men in the room might be forgetting what it means to watch _people_ die that makes Lance keep his mouth shut. He knows what telling Merlin and Arthur the truth means. He knows that with no way to prove it, in a century full of disillusionment and automatic mistrust of everyone, there is no way they'll convince either Merlin or Arthur. He says nothing though, because he wants the rest of them to understand. It's a life, a person, always a human being that they're playing with. Human beings aren't recyclable. 

"We'll go," Lance tells them. "Whenever everyone is ready."

Leon nods at him and Lance knows it'll be an important lesson.

-

London 2012 is a new world, different from everything they've seen in their ship and in the past lives of Arthur and Merlin. There are men and women walking in the street, buildings that tower over anything they've seen in the other times they've travelled to. There are cars, coffee shops, schools, boys and girls talking to each other, touching each other in familiar ways. The knights know this is the most free Merlin and Arthur have been since they were born.

Merlin is a university student, happens to be studying in the same school as Arthur, but Arthur is rich, the son of Uther Pendragon who donated a new wing to the library and whose donations pay the taxes on the school property. 

"Don't bother," Leon says shaking his head. "I'll go get Arthur, but I'm taking Percy with me."

Gwaine laughs and punches Percival on the shoulder. "They have to call you Percy."

Percival just rolls his eyes and their names are put into the system, sons of obscure aristocrats that people will believe exist even though they don't. Lance and Gwaine go in as scholarship students, can do it because time works in weird ways when you travel through it.

"Are we allowed to get pissed and feel up girls' skirts?" Gwaine asks grinning like this isn't another mission. It's like he doesn't remember that Merlin and Arthur end up working for MI6, that their obituaries won't say anything about what they did, simply that they died in service to their country.

"You can if you want to," Lance tells him.

"You need to loosen up," Gwaine says, thumping Lance in the back. "You're always so preoccupied with doing your job and setting the best example. If we don't know by now what the right thing to do is, we’re never going to learn it. Just let go."

Lance sighs. "All right," he says. "Let's go find Merlin."

-

Merlin ends up sharing a dorm with Lance and Gwaine because Leon is good at his job. 

Lance and Gwaine end up in a third floor dormitory, right across from Arthur's, which is next to Leon's who's next to them and across from Percival. The room Lance and Gwaine go into is covered in posters of famous authors and their quotes. There are papers over all the desks in the room, books on the two empty beds, clothes all over the place.

"He's been busy," Lance comments, picks up a shirt from one of the twin beds that are to be his and Gwaine's. 

"Doesn't clean much, does he?"

"No, I don't."

It turns out Merlin was in the bathroom, through the door at the left. He's leaning by the doorway, hands across his chest as he looks over at Gwaine and Lance. His hair falls over his forehead, dark as always, his eyes the same dark blue. The way he watches them is familiar, trying to figure them out, but not judging them. 

"Sorry, mate," Gwaine says, raising a hand in greeting. "Didn’t know you were in."

"We're your new dorm mates," Lance says, smiles. 

Merlin smiles back, his face easing into friendly. "I thought you were Arthur's friends. He's been saying he's going to get around to sending someone over here to teach me a lesson on respecting my superiors. Bit of a prick that one." 

"Is he?" Lance asks as Gwaine starts picking off Merlin's clothes from their beds. "So, you know him?"

"Yeah," Merlin says going over to help Gwaine while Lance starts with the books. "Shouldn't someone have let me know you were coming? I would have cleaned up."

"Don't worry," Lance tells him. "We'll help."

"Yeah, Lance just loves to help," Gwaine says shoving the rest of the things off the bed and laying down. "Don't you, Lance?"

"You two know each other?"

Lance nods. 

"We've been best mates for a while. Us and the two new guys, Leon and Percy. They get their own room though because _their_ parents consider the tuition for this place pocket change."

"You're friends with them," Merlin asks and Gwaine and Lance can hear the question there. 

"Not all rich kids are snobs," Lance tells him. "I bet Arthur isn’t that bad once you get to know him."

Merlin just laughs.

-

Arthur is an arse.

 

"And you are," he asks at lunch hour the next day, his voice rising at the end as he forms the question. 

Gwaine rolls his eyes and takes a seat next to Percy.

" _I'm_ Gwaine. That's Lance and he's Merlin."

"I know who he is," Arthur says looking Merlin up and down.

Merlin for his part glares, takes the seat across from Gwaine and introduces himself to Percy and Leon. Lance makes to take the seat between Arthur and Merlin, but Arthur slides over next to Merlin and Lance ends up sitting in front Leon. He glances over at Arthur and Merlin and there's something in the way they sit, tense and angry.

"You two together?" Leon asks.

Arthur chokes on his drink. Merlin gapes and Lance thinks he's close to laughing. 

"I don't think so," Merlin says recovering first.

"He'd be so lucky," Arthur answers.

But, they sit there, Arthur's face turning a bright pink that makes him look young and handsome. Merlin stares at the wall over Percival's shoulder as if it'll tell him all the secrets of the world. Lance looks over at Gwaine who's rolling his eyes in a very _there they go, again_ kind of way. Percival shakes his head at Leon, snorts and makes it look refined. Gwaine rolls his eyes again and Lance gets the message. Percival and Leon make very good upper class men. Lance thinks Gwaine does too with his hair and laid back attitude that only a person with nothing to lose or too much money to care could ever have. 

"So," Leon tries again when Percival catches Gwaine trying to steal a chip off his tray. "Arthur talks a lot about you?"

Arthur turns a nice shade of red and sends a death glare at Leon who pretends he doesn't know what's going on.

"Do you," Merlin asks and his tone says he's making fun, but his eyes are curious.

Arthur shakes his head and Percival makes a joke about how they haven't known Arthur more than an hour and he's already talked their ears off about Merlin.

"Great big, blue eyes and ears," Percival says waiving his hands around his ears to emphasize his point. "I think he secretly likes them."

Gwaine joins in talking about Merlin's ears and soon the entire table is in on it. Arthur insists that they are distracting.

"Stick right out the side of his head, don't they?"

Lance is quiet as he watches them. There's a tightening in his chest, his heart pumping loud and he misses home, misses Gwen and the way she smiles at him after a particularly hard day. He misses her fingers through his hair, misses hearing her voice in his ear promising that there's a reason for everything he does. He wants to hear her say that their boss, Morgause, is not as bad as she makes out to be. But, there's no Gwen, just the laughter of men who are no more than boys and who have no idea why they do the things they do. 

-

Merlin says he hates Arthur.

Arthur says he can't stand Merlin.

They last two months before Merlin pushes Arthur up against the kitchen counter in the middle of the party going on in Merlin's friend, Freya's house. Lance isn't there when it happens, but Percival and Gwaine have a fun time telling him all about it when they wake up the next day. None of them really remember how they ended up piled on Leon's bed or how Leon ended up in the tub. All they know is that Merlin's locked himself in their dorm with Arthur.

"I need to get dressed," Gwaine complains.

"How exactly did you lose your clothes," Percival asks as he drags a sleeping Leon out of the tub.

"I don't know," Gwaine shrugs. "But, I hope it was fun."

Lance just groans and tugs the covers over his head.

-

They go to classes. Merlin and Arthur hold hands when they think no one is looking, send heated looks at each other in the middle of lectures. But, nothing big happens. The knights, Merlin and Arthur get drunk, smoke cigarettes at night behind the dorms. They get high, forget about tests the next day, go to lectures hung over. They end up at a different pub every Friday, a different club every weekend. They plan out what they'll do after they're done with Uni. Arthur says he's going into the family business and Merlin makes fun of him until Arthur asks him what he's going to do.

"I'm going to live off my stories."

Arthur has a lot to say to that, but they're passing around a smoke so no one can really tell what anyone else is saying.

"What if you had to save the world?" Gwaine asks, his voice too loud in Arthur's room. "What if it was your destiny or some shit?"

"Nah, mate," Merlin says taking another drag of the fag. "I'm fine with my low paying job and writing whenever I feel like it. I don't want to save the world."

-

Merlin goes on to write poetry, beautiful lines that speak about Arthur and how they met, never stating the names outright, but the letters of their names are always there in his poems. Arthur for his part, inherits his father's company, expands it into the next generation of energy, clean and efficient. He and Merlin move in together a few years out of university, don't ever work for MI6. 

The knights wait, but the world doesn't burn to the ground.

-

No one can understand it. They know what it means for them, for Arthur and Merlin. But, they don't understand why no one simply _told_ them that there was another way. Morgause never told them that there was no reason to put Merlin and Arthur through that pain, that there is no reason to get involved, that they can live their lives.

Gwen comes to see them when they skip their fifth and sixth mission. Lance welcomes her, shakes his head when she asks him what's wrong.

"We've been fucking played," Gwaine calls out from where he's lying on the table staring at the ceiling.

Percival is standing next to Leon, both of them staring at the monitor with the names and dates. 

"I don't get it," Lance whisper to Gwen. "We let them do what they wanted. They were happy, didn't die like they were supposed to and nothing happened. The world kept spinning."

"I know," Gwen answers, bows her head so that Lance has to lean down to hear her. "I've noticed things too. Remember how you asked that we hurry up the memory program?"

"Yeah," Gwaine calls. He sits up, pushes his hair away from his face. "What happened?"

"I told Morgause that if we experimented the people might not make it, that it wasn't safe."

"And," Leon asks walking over.

"She brought two men."

Gwen says nothing and the others don't press her. She bites her lower lip and glances over her shoulder at the closed door. "She brought me Arthur and Merlin. _Our_ Arthur and Merlin. From this lifetime," Gwen whispers. "She said to give it a go and that it would be a pity if they died in the process, but that there would be others."

Gwaine's low cursing speaks for all of them.

"They're _here_ ," Percival asks and they can all hear the nerves behind the simple question.

Gwen nods. "I didn't know it was them until I saw them. But, it's them. Same face, same eyes. It's all there."

"And Morgause wants you to kill them," Lance asks.

Gwen shakes her head again. "I don't think that's it," she says. "I think she doesn't know about them. She assumes all of you are doing your job and in this lifetime they're supposed to die for the greater good, in some laboratory. I think Morgause thinks this is it."

"She's still a bitch," Gwaine calls. "Lying, conniving."

"She never lied," Lance says. "She just never knew. _We_ never knew."

"So what do we do?" Leon asks.

For a moment no one says anything. Lance thinks of all the missions they have been on, about the very first, where they watched Arthur die at the hands of Mordred. They walked away without a word, left Merlin behind to pick up the pieces and didn't bother to think about the lives that were lost when Camelot fell. He knows the others are thinking of them too, of how dirty they all were after spending days in the trenches, about the deaths. They're remembering Merlin and Arthur together in secret corners, whispering into each other's ears, the way their eyes always found each other. They all remember the look in Merlin's eyes when Arthur died, the emptiness in Arthur's when he burned Merlin at the stake. They've watched these men grow, have lived with them, fought with them, loved them.

"We tell them," Lance says finally. "Everything."

"They'll hate us," Gwaine says, but he's grinning. "Want to bloody murder us."

"Probably," Percival nods.

"But, it's worth it." Leon says and there's nothing any one of them can say against that.

-

They run into Morgana first.

"Where the hell have the four of you been," she demands to know.

Lance notices the way Leon freezes. His eyes focus on Morgana, on her dark hair that falls over her back, her green eyes as she asses them. She's beautiful in this life too.

"We had some problems to deal with, princess," Gwaine answers. "Now, mind telling us where we can find Merlin and Arthur?"

Morgana rolls her eyes. "Arthur is on the third floor in the Pendragon suite. Merlin is on this floor. Second door at the end of this hall. Why?"

Gwaine rolls his eyes, reaches back for Leon's arm. "He'll explain everything."

Leon turns a nice shade of pink as he looks at Morgana and Lance knows Gwaine won't ever let Leon live it down. He thinks the embarrassment comes from the way the four of them and Gwen are roaming the corridors in packs like school children. They have no plan, but just knowing that Arthur and Merlin are here. Lance wants to see them.

"You know the project Morgause is working on," Leon starts.

"Yes," Morgana says. "Uther insists that we play along with this foolishness and to Arthur, Uther's word is law. I'm aware of it, yes."

"Arthur is Uther's son?" Gwaine asks.

Morgana blinks at them. "You didn't know?"

It seems so obvious once Morgana explains and Lance, quite frankly, feels stupid for not seeing it before. 

"Uther remembers," Morgana explains. She pauses, her eyes fixing on Leon. "I remember."

"So, what," Percival asks. "This is Uther's idea to do what exactly?"

"He wants to stop this," Morgana says and she sounds so old, looks so tired.

Her shoulders hunch when she stands as though she's carried a weight too heavy for her for a long time. The looks she sends Leon are forward as though she's too old to play at games. Lance can see it, the age in her eyes hinting at how old she really is.

"Have you been there every time?" Leon asks.

Morgana shakes her head. "I was there for Germany. The rest of the time I've spent here with Uther. No matter what he was like in Camelot, he is still a father before everything. He just wants Arthur to have one perfect life where he doesn't have to save the world."

"He's already had that," Percival points out. "Back in 2012."

"He still came back," Morgana shakes her head. "We've been trying for so long to get them to stay in Avalon."

There are questions Lance should be asking, but he doesn't. He doesn't think they'll ever get it, him and the knights. This is Morgana's burden, hers and Uther's.

"What about Morgause?"

Morgana laughs. "It was her idea to fulfil all the destinies we knew off. She thought it would set things right, that it would please the magic in the world."

"Not helping, is it," Gwaine says rolling his eyes at her.

"No," Morgana says and she sounds so defeated. "It's not."

"So, they know?" Lance asks. "Arthur knows what Uther's doing?"

"Of course they know," Morgana snaps. "Do you think we'd mess with their lives if they didn't know?"

No one says anything for the longest time. Lance can see the horror on Percival's face, the anger on Gwaine's and the shock on Leon's. He understands because he feels them all. The anger at having to watch people they cared about die for a purpose they weren't made aware of. Anger for all the guilt they've felt. But, there's something behind it all too, a greater sense of peace that washes over Lancelot, one that stops him from calling Morgana what Gwaine calls her. It's knowing that they're working for a common goal now, one that will _help_ Arthur and Merlin instead of harming them that settles peace in Lance's chest.

"What about Morgause," and Lance had forgotten that Gwen was in the room with them. "The experiment?"

Morgana runs fingers through her hair. "There's no point really, not anymore. I doubt any of you want to work for us anymore after all this."

"Fuck no," Gwaine says. "But, I'm not quitting. You're firing me and then paying me until I find a another fucking job. Possibly one that involves nothing more complicated than pouring coffee."

-

Lance catches sight of Merlin and Arthur on his way to empty his office. Arthur is still blond, slightly shorter than Merlin with the same broad shoulders from when he wielded swords. He still stands like the world should be at his feet. Merlin has the same dark hair, the dark blue eyes, the smile that reaches all the way to his eyes. There's still the same crackle of magic, of power beyond what should be possible. They're standing together, heads bent together and there's something about the way Merlin holds Arthur's hand that makes Lance believe that they'll make it.


End file.
